youre lurking in front of me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
