I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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