I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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