I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
