haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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