I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
