I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm both gender and math confused
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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