I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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