he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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