Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
