its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
