Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
