haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
