I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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