a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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