I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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