after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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