I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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