im having a threesome with these popsicles
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
