Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
