so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize