you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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