You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
