im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
