Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
