you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
