I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
