is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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