Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
