The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
