So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
