these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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