you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
