Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
