i was born a porn star she said
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
