it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
