so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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