had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this will be a night to untag.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
