When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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