i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
