turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
