you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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