Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
