I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
