oh god the rape fog is back!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
