Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
