Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize