Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
