We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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