shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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