I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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