im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
