if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
