I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
