i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
