$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
