i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
