I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
